Wednesday, January 30, 2013

37 weeks and a Warm and Fuzzy Shower

37 weeks 1 day

pregnant shadow

We are 37 weeks and 1 day today. At the doctor we were seen by a new sonographer, a resident and Dr. Chapman, one of the mFMs. I really liked the sonographer because she was thorough and to the point, doing all measurements, etc without my having to ask her. I liked that there was a resident in the room because I knew that meant they probably said "here is an interesting case..." and because it will give her an opportunity to see that sometimes, there is hope and maybe not be only a voice of gloom for people she may encounter in the future, and I liked seeing Dr. Chapman, because even though I just met her last week, she seems very genuine and happy with how well our Auggie is doing.

Today everything looked good. I don't know exactly what all they check in the biophysical profile, other than blood flow, heart rate and diaphramatic practice breathing, but I do know that he has scored an 8/8 each week lately. There is NO FLUID, yes, NO FLUID on his chest and there is only a small amount on his abdomen. His head is measuring 40 weeks, and his abdomen is measuring 37 weeks and 5 days (much more like it compared to the measurment last week). I have big headed the head size didn't surprise me much, haha.

We asked about the likelyhood of distress and although no promises can be made, everyone seems to feel it is not likely and think it is possible we could avoid NICU altogether. She assured us that they try very hard to keep babies with mothers and if they do not need to take him from me, they won't and they will do everything possible to do any testing at our bedside....if at all possible. I think the mere thought that they even entertain the idea of him staying at my bedside and not having a NICU stay is pretty incredible. I mean, at one point, there was minimal chance of survival, and then obviously, a NICU setting...and now...anything is possible. Everyone knows that anything is possible with this kid.

Downstairs we saw our buddy, Dr. Twedt. I am still 1 cm and high, but she is unconcerned regarding induction, which we will schedule next week. Of course, she reminded us that she is on call all weekend and that there are lots of predicted storms, so be prepared for anything. We are on a first name basis with everyone at this point...and one nurse even came into the room and said "as you came down the hall we all said, here comes that miracle baby". WOW!

Yesterday, my son's kindergarten class threw me a baby shower for their "warm and fuzzy party day". The teacher has a jar and when the kids do good things, she slowly fills the jar with pom pom balls. When it is full, they get a "warm and fuzzy party". Often this entails pajama day, or a movie...but they decided since the kids were all so excited for Baby Auggie and have been praying all year, that they would teach them to throw a baby shower. They decorated with blue and had fruit, pretzels and brownies. All of the children colored cards and pictures and some even brought sweet gifts. How appropriate that their "wamr and fuzzy party" is called that considering those were the first positive words I heard from Dr. Johnson at CHOP many weeks ago...rememeber when he said "it makes me feel warm and fuzzy". Good stuff!

Of all the gifts, my favorites were a binder full of prayers (pictured below) from each of these sweet babes, and also three special tiles for his room. One of the tiles has a verse, and small dots each made from Oliver's pinky prints. Another has Eliot's handprint with another verse. And one is a painting of the world, with children holding hands around it...each child is represented by the pinky prints of Oliver and his classmates. It is truly a treasure that brought me to tears. One of Oliver's little friends said "those are happy tears, aren't they?"  Yes, happy happy tears...of joy that we are celebrating the birth and well being of Auggie, and of awe that these sweet 5 and 6 year old children care so much, about their friend, Oliver and about Baby Auggie.

Thank you to each of them, and to their parents, and to Oliver's wonderful teachers, Mrs. Harkey and Mrs. Todd. And of course, to their great school. We are truly blessed.

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11   (Oliver's pinky prints are the dots along the sides)

He's got the whole world, in His hands. (Eliot's handprint)

each little head is athe child's pinky print

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie comes out of Mrs. Losinski's tummy safely. - Reagan

Dear God, Pray Baby Auggie has a stuffed animal, a good heart, and he and Oliver have fun together. -Jacob

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie and Oliver have a nice time together with their parents. -Michael

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie can come to Disney World. -Lindsey

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie can have a tiger. -Oliver

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie has is big and strong with a good heart. - Aubrey (she also drew our family, including our 2 dogs)

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie will get to play in the snow. -Chloe

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie is nice. -James

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie can get to read the Bible. -Benjamin

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie is Gud. (good).-Andrew

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie will eat his vegetables and grow big and strong.- Hunter

Dear God, I pray Baby Auggie will be nice to his big brother Oliver. - Brooke

A few more pics:

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Howl at the Moon

This evening our family said our final good-byes to our beloved pets, Noah and Yogi. It was peaceful, but heart wrenching. Poor Yogi ran to meet my car as if all was well this afternoon, and yet within the hour began struggling so hard to breathe that we almost didn't make it to the scheduled appointment. It was hard to watch but they allowed us all to sit together in a small room, with the dogs on rugs and their heads in our laps. Yogi quickly drifted off to sleep and it was a relief to ease his suffering. I think getting so much worse so quickly was perhaps his way of giving us peace. Noah, well, that was perhaps even harder, and to be honest, I still can't believe he is really gone. I think after Yogi I began second guessing myself and wondering how long I could prolong the inevitable. In the end, we got him good and tired and his head was in my lap the entire time. We were both there through it all and we both were able to tell them we loved them and what good dogs they had been. As Noah slept we talked about all the fun times we had. How Noah was present for our first kiss, our first date, my first gift from Mickey was a big painting of Noah, and both dogs had a central part in Mickey's proposal. After they were both gone, we sat for a while, Mickey finally needed to exit, but I sat on the floor with them for a while longer, just me and two sleeping dogs. Noah's ears were as velvety as ever, and they truly were peaceful. When I finally left the room, I turned out the light and gave one final look, where my two buds both slept like they always do, side by side on the rugs, Yogi with both paws in front of him and Noah on his side. It was bittersweet, beautiful, sad, hard...I can't explain all the emotions I am feeling, but I am sure most of us have made these decisions and know exactly what it feels like.

Thirteen years is a very long time.

When we finally returned, the kids smiled and chatted. They said good-bye to the dogs before we left, but it became clear that they did not fully comprehend that the dogs were gone. I told Eliot I was very sad because I was going to miss them so much. She said, "well, they will be back". I explained that they were in Heaven chasing the birds again, and that they were Jesus' dogs now. She said "well, he can't keep them, they are OUR dogs!". She eventually said "Well, that is so sad, I will miss them too...we need more dogs, but they have to be brown and white, because those are our favorite". She is right...Noah and Yogi were definitey our favorite.

We were truly blessed to have really really sweet dogs...favorite dogs. Grandpa dogs! They will be missed.

This song is a song that has always kind of been "me and Noah's song" and so it seems fitting to put it here. I will surely miss you old friend. Now go and chase the birds guys...