The past week has been very stressful on a personal level...I suppose this should be expected after a whilwind pregnancy, crazy hormones and having been on this emotional journey for so long....it is frustrating because I only have a few more week left, and it would have been nice to finally, as things improve, have been able to enjoy the next few weeks on whatever level I can...but this was not to be and I am trying to work through it.
I have had great support from Mickey and my mother and my best friends, which is helpful.
Things are going so well with Auguste, I will wait to fill you in on Wednesday, when we meet once again with our doctors...but lets just say everything has been on the upswing with our little fighter. I appreciate all the continued prayers and support that have come our way, often from some of the most unlikely of places....it truly has meant a lot to me.
I am also once again thankful to all the wonderful women whom I have met along this journey. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that we don't always get to know the whys of it...but I can say that learning about hydrops, meeting the other mothers like me who are going through this journey or have been through this journey, has led me to know I was brought here for a reason. I have been in the process of compiling some formal information regarding hydrops, as well as facilities around the country that I know for a fact are interested in fetal interventions, etc...so that Mickey and I can eventually produce a one-stop place where people can get the information they need to move forward with a tragic diagnosis such as this. I know one of the hardest things we experienced was the pure lack of information and access to resources, and I would truly like to help (with many of the other mothers I have met) in changing that and perhaps giving a ray of hope to people presented with this diagnosis.
I have always been the type of person to get somewhat obsessed regarding issues I am passionate about, and I feel that I am in a position, both with my current career and my past education of writing, teaching, to be able to truly bring awareness to that issues the revolve around a hydrops diagnosis.
I am thankful that I will have Auguste to distract me from it a little in the next few months, but I am actually excited about the possibilities and the people we may be able to hep along the way.
On that note, I will end with a quote that was sent to me this morning, to help encourage me through my current trials:
"When you look with an open heart and mind, life is poignant and meaningful. Whatever you see without love you separate from. You do this to try to alleviate your fear. But the more you separate, the less connection you feel with others and the more fearful you become. The only thing that can successfully address fear is to hold it with love. As soon as you look with love, you see a different world."