I am weary. I am emotional. I am out of breath most of the time. I have reflux. I still throw up at least one morning a week. I still crave pickles and ice cold milk....yes, currently I am devouring a jar of crispy dill pickles. My chest hurts all the time because this guy is so high up he is pushing my breast bone out. I keep telling myself...hang in there, Mama...just a few weeks to go...and in truth, these weeks are going much faster than the earlier ones...
Today was emotional for me. We sawa new MFM and a new sonographer.Both very nice. The sonographer rose the table way up and covered me with jelly like one would put ketchup on a bratwurst. Basically, in order toscan me at that height, her arm was straight across and raised on my belly, so the angles at which we saw everything were different than usual. Apparently his ribs are starting to ossify and they cast a shadow across the top of his lung, appearing to be fluid, but in the end...the lungs were fine....thank God.
The abdomen did not appear worsened, but the measurment came out at 41 weeks (rememeber it was 37 last week)...obviously this bothered me a lot. Most of the sonographers will take 3 measurements and compare or average, but she only took one...so we were stuck with that nimber...41 weeks. I don't like that number...I wanted 37 weeks...or even 38, but not 41. She asked if I was ok and I said "um...not really"...she then said "I meant your position". But that was the truth, I was not ok. I can not stand the thought of a set back when we have come so far....I was also worried that this could change our birth plan.I looked at Mickey, and he held my hand, and I told him how I hated that a new person was seeing us because how would they be able to tell. Again the anxiety of seeing new people was back and I could feel the warmth of tears filling my eyes.
When the sonosgrapher left Mickey was very comforting and truly felt confident that all was stable...and once again...the man was right.
The MFM told me to rest assured that everything was stable and that these measurements were somewhat subjective and that nothing looked any worse. She said that even though she was just meeting me, she had heard all about us and our story and was glad to finally have a face to put with the story. She said she could see that our boy had improved dramatically from his first diagnosis and that she knew this had been a day to day emotional roller coaster for us...but that she was happy things were turning out so well.
She told us we had permission to go into labor at any time. We said "I thought we were waiting?" Basically, they will not induce until 39 weeks but if he decided to come any sooner theywon't try to stop it. She then started talking about hydropic babies...but then corrected herself and said, "but he isn't even hydropic anymore, he just has ascites"...which I love hearing people say he is no longer hydropic, so I left happy.
We then went downstairs...we were due to see another physician but Dr. Twedt was in the office and they said she wanted to see us. She checked things out and said that I was dilated 1 cm. She said this was great because when we do induce, she said we will probably not need to worry about "ripening my cervix" (that sounds gross doesn't it? Ripening!)...We didn't choose an exact date for induction because Mrs. Dr. Twedt doesn't know her schedule for tomorrow much less 3 weeks from now...but she said we would just say go time right at 39 weeks, which falls on Feb. 12...Fat Tuesday. ha Eliot and Oliver were both Wednesday kids and Emily was born on Tuesday so it seems fitting that he could come on Tuesday...
of course...this little guy can still choose to come at any time and apparently the doctors are giving him permission...but we are not...we are not ready...
I did pack a bag and wedo have a sitter on call and ...well, that's all...haha...alot left to do and prepare for. I am planning to work until he comes orthe Friday before his birth week. Truly, work is exhausting me but I am happy to be there as it takes my mind off all the scary things...although it leaves me too tired to get much done on the home front.
The rest of the family is great. Oliver's kindergarten class is throwing me a baby shower for their "warm and fuzzy" party day on Friday, which I can only imagine will be the sweetest most fabulous thing ever. They are all such sweet kids. The kids can't wait to hold their baby Auggie, and neither can we.
On that note, here is a little dancing from the big kids. My kids get their moves from their dad, lol...and they do it all so well, without music.
Hang in there momma! Thanks for sharing this update. I can only imagine the stress and worry you are feeling.ReplyDelete
awwww, I am happy for you Lisa! You and your family have come a long way! I am so proud of you and I tell your story a lot of people! Sending a lot of prayers to you, Auggie and all your family...Yamira:)ReplyDelete